Not depressed, just sad, lonely or unhappy (Part 11)

Death - part of life

"Trauma" comes from the Greek word for a "wound", and in a medical sense, it is what happens to the body when a wound delivers a shock.

But bereavement, of which I have much sorrowful experience is, alas, part of the natural course of life's sad events.

As Shakespeare observes, with Hamlet, his father lost a father, and that father lost a father before him, and so on, ad infinitum, through the hinterland of human history.

Grief is desperately upsetting: it hurts you for ages, and the loss of someone you love is emotionally painful, and can be enduringly so. But why not call it by its proper name: bereavement: grief: loss?

One reason may be that we are losing old rituals which human beings have practised for eons.

When I was a young woman in France in the 1960s, you would come across a shop with its blinds drawn, and a notice saying: "Ferme pour deuil": closed for mourning.

t is still seen in France, and is also a usual response in Italy. Mourning symbols were widespread in all cultures - widows' weeds, black armbands - and the community was expected to respect those who mourn.

Outward signs of mourning have declined, if not been abolished in more secular societies now: but our sense of sadness and loss endure, and instead of this being called mourning, it is called "trauma".

It might be a start to revive or recapture some of the wider, non-medical vocabulary for the gamut of human experience.

Depression may also be melancholy: it may be discouragement, disappointment, abandonment, sadness, sorrow, mourning, rejection, regret, anxiety, grief, obsession, introspection, loss, separation, loneliness, isolation, alienation, guilt, loss of hope, temperamental woe and simple, pure, unhappiness.

It can be forms of low mood now out of date. The Edwardians were very keen on a condition known as "neurasthenia"; Virginia Woolf was diagnosed with it.

It was also known as "nervous debility", or, in its milder form, being hyper-sensitive and thin-skinned.

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Not depressed, just sad, lonely or unhappy (Part 1)

Is sad so bad?

Cases of depression have grown around the world. But while awareness of the illness has helped lift the stigma it once attracted, have we lost touch with the importance of just feeling sad, asks Mary Kenny.

Looking back on my own reasonably serene childhood in Ireland during the 1950s, I recall quiet murmurs about people who suffered from “nerves”.

I remember hearing that a neighbour - a well-to-do woman whose larger house and smart appearance was rather envied in the community - had had a “nervous breakdown”.

Although when I repeated this to my aunt and uncle, with whom I was living, I was hushed up with a peremptory word of censure. There was, clearly, something slightly shameful about a “nervous breakdown” and one didn’t speak about it.

I can see now, though I did not see then, that these were hidden incidents of depression among family and neighbours. But the stigma over depression, or even mental illness of any kind, must have added to their anguish.

How times have changed. It is an accepted truth, in our time, that depression is an illness with a global reach.

t seems that depression in various guises - whether chronic, uni-polar, bi-polar, clinical, recurrent, major or minor - accounts for a greater burden of disease, world-wide, than war, cancer and AIDS all put together.

This new openness is a good thing. Yet in the process, are we losing something?

Take the word, “trauma,” which is now frequently and commonly invoked in conversation today. A person who has suffered a bereavement is said to be “in trauma”.

A person who has been subjected to shock is said to be “traumatised”. The break-up of relationships - a sad human experience which brings us a sense of loss, and hurts our need for attachment - is, similarly, described as “a traumatic experience”.

In his excellent autobiographical study of depression which he so adroitly called Malignant Sadness, Professor Lewis Wolpert employs the concept of “trauma” to describe, for example, bereavement.

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Obama’s Speech

By Jonah Goldberg

Yes, there were some fine parts. How could there not be?

But I really disliked it. Maybe I’m letting other factors poison my take, and I should probably sleep on it before rendering final judgment. But here are a few things that really stuck in my craw.

1) As we speak, al Qaeda continues to plot against us, and its leadership remains anchored in the border region of Afghanistan and Pakistan. We will disrupt, dismantle, and defeat al Qaeda, while preventing Afghanistan from again serving as a base for terrorists. And because of our drawdown in Iraq, we are now able to apply the resources necessary to go on offense. In fact, over the last 19 months, nearly a dozen al Qaeda leaders –and hundreds of Al Qaeda’s extremist allies–have been killed or captured around the world.

I understand we’re launching a surge in Afghanistan, and I know Obama will never let go of the “Iraq was a distraction” stuff, but did the Commander-in-Chief really need to say that only now, thanks to the draw down in Iraq, can we go “on offense” against al Qaeda? Have we been on defense for the last 9 years?

2) As we do, I am mindful that the Iraq War has been a contentious issue at home. Here, too, it is time to turn the page. This afternoon, I spoke to former President George W. Bush. It’s well known that he and I disagreed about the war from its outset. Yet no one could doubt President Bush’s support for our troops, or his love of country and commitment to our security. As I have said, there were patriots who supported this war, and patriots who opposed it. And all of us are united in appreciation for our servicemen and women, and our hope for Iraq’s future.

This is what passes for bipartisan graciousness at the highest level of national security? Bush was a really swell guy who loved his country. Okay. What about the fact that he was right about the surge and our ability to leave Iraq (as much as we are) is attributable not to Obama’s fidelity to his campaign pledge, but to a decision made by Obama’s predecessor, a decision Obama opposed vociferously. I don’t expect an “I was wrong” from an Oval Office address (though it would be nice — as it would have been from Bush more than once, too). But Obama’s lawyerly avoidance of reality makes him seem petty and raises the suspicion that he can’t think straight about these issues. That is dangerous.

3. And so at this moment, as we wind down the war in Iraq, we must tackle those challenges at home with as much energy, and grit, and sense of common purpose as our men and women in uniform who have served abroad. They have met every test that they faced. Now, it is our turn. Now, it is our responsibility to honor them by coming together, all of us, and working to secure the dream that so many generations have fought for –the dream that a better life awaits anyone who is willing to work for it and reach for it.

Our most urgent task is to restore our economy, and put the millions of Americans who have lost their jobs back to work. To strengthen our middle class, we must give all our children the education they deserve, and all our workers the skills that they need to compete in a global economy. We must jumpstart industries that create jobs, and end our dependence on foreign oil. We must unleash the innovation that allows new products to roll off our assembly lines, and nurture the ideas that spring from our entrepreneurs. This will be difficult. But in the days to come, it must be our central mission as a people, and my central responsibility as President.

This is what really disgusted me. If you read this closely, what Obama is saying is that not only do we owe it to the troops to rally around his discredited and partisan economic agenda (“It’s our turn”), not only is it a test of our patriotism to sign on with his environmental and industrial planning schemes, but that doing so “must be our central mission as a people.”

I find everything about that offensive.

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Create a Tempting First Impressions (Part 2)

People who smile are considered as people who believe in themselves because when we're nervous or not confident with ourselves or our surroundings, we tend not to smile. Smiling will lead to happiness that will bring us to people who are happy: Because we see them in a positive way.

The spirit is very important to create a good impression because of that spirit will be contagious to others. With a smile you indicate that you like the environment you are and happy to meet with people you meet, so in turn he will be more interested in meeting you.

In the end, a sincere smile shows acceptance and lead others to know that you are willing to accept him with sincerity. Have you ever wondered why dogs are so loved? Because these animals greet us with a genuine acceptance. If you have a tail, then kibaskanlah. But since you do not have a tail, then smile.

Even if you are not able to smile as sweet as the Mona Lisa, from now smile at everyone you meet. Then consider how your actions it magical. At first familiarize yourself smile like it was hard to swim in the agar-agar jelly, but with constant practice you will be personally guaranteed a charming and do not be surprised if your days will be preoccupied by a fan who wanted a photo together and ask for autographs.

"A smile is a curve that can straighten out any issue of"

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Create a Tempting First Impressions (Part 1)

To convey to you here is a favorite technique in creating a good first impression. A simple technique, but this is the key to my success became inspiration for harmonious relations. Of course, this technique is also effective when applied during the interview work.

The first time I learned to be a professional radio announcer, one important lesson instructed by instructor when it is broadcast Smile when talking.

According to smile can be heard. Listeners will easily be able to distinguish where the announcer was friendly and where broadcasters are not friendly or grumpy. As we know, that most people would prefer the people were friendly compared with the broadcaster that bitchy. If the radio listener can distinguish just which broadcasters are friendly or not, especially when dealing directly instead?

The opinion was increasingly strengthened again after I have studied Neuro Associative Conditioning System, an excavation techniques, development and structuring potential. A smile that seems an easy job in fact have a major impact in the "conquest" anyone's heart.

A smile is able to create four wonderful things:

1. Raises self-confidence

2. Happiness

3. Passion and enthusiasm

4. Genuine acceptance

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Job Searching at Work

By: Alison

What you do when you're job searching, especially when you're doing it at work, can be problematic when it comes to keeping the job you have already.

In addition to the folks who tweet that they hate their job, there are those who spend all day on Facebook, even though they are friends with their boss and he or she can see every update. That's not such a great idea when you are supposed to be working.

Then there are the mistakes that make you cringe. I heard from someone who was in a panic after he emailed his resume to his boss by mistake. The AutoFill tool that automatically enters email addresses in Outlook and other email programs can be dangerous and using your work email address for job searching isn't a good idea.

One solution is to set up a separate email account for job seeking. That way you won't send your resume to the wrong person by mistake and you'll have all your job search correspondence in one place. If you use Gmail or Yahoo mail or another web-based email account, you'll be able to check it from anywhere.

If you have already made the mistake of clicking the Send button, it's time for damage control. You'll need to act quickly. Here's how to handle it when your boss catches you job searching. In the future, you'll need to job search a little more carefully - some stealth job hunting may be in order.

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Ngeblog Tanpa Resiko Kehilangan Kerja

Di era serba internet seperti saat ini, rasanya blog sudah jadi gaya hidup sehari-hari. Sama halnya dengan situs jejaring social lainnya seperti Facebook atau Twitter, blog dimiliki hampir semua internet savvy di luar sana. Mungkin juga termasuk Anda. Diperkirakan bahwa di Indonesia sendiri di tahun 2009 jumlah blogger akan mencapai angka 1 juta. Jumlah ini tidak mengherankan mengingat banyaknya alternatif layanan hosting dan web based tool gratis dan relatif mudah dikuasai sehingga dalam hitungan menit saja blog Anda sudah bisa diluncurkan untuk publik. Beberapa layanan gratis yang popular digunakan antara lain Blogger, Wordpress dan Multiply.



Blog yang merupakan singkatan dari weblog, digandrungi oleh banyak orang karena merupakan media yang memungkinkan pemiliknya untuk menuliskan topik kesukaan mereka untuk kemudian di-publish di dunia maya dengan singkat, tanpa proses panjang seperti halnya mengirim tulisan ke media cetak. Blog juga cara lain untuk berkomunikasi. Kerabat dan teman bisa mengetahui kabar terbaru pemilik blog hanya dengan membaca entry yang ditulisnya, bahkan memberikan komentar.



Banyak orang mengklaim bahwa blogging jadi hobi bahkan sudah jadi kebutuhan mereka. Di blog mereka bisa menuliskan pikiran mereka, menerima feedback dari pembaca, menambah jejaring dan teman, bahkan menciptakan sebuah komunitas khusus untuk blog. Munculnya layanan microblogging tidak membuat aktifitas ini kehilangan penggemar, justru malah membuat blogging semakin kuat karena bisa dijadikan tool yang turut bisa mempromosikan blog seseorang.



Kebanyakan pemilik blog adalah perseorangan yang menulis topik apa saja yang menarik bagi mereka. Namun saat ini semakin banyak perusahaan mengelola blog untuk berbagai kepentingan seperti promosi, branding, menciptakan image bahkan riset dan pooling untuk mengetahui keadaan pasar dan konsumen.



Kalau blogging sudah jadi keseharian Anda, ingatlah bahwa kegiatan yang menyenangkan, therapeutic bahkan menghasilkan ini juga memiliki resiko yang bisa membahayakan karir dan pekerjaan Anda. Jika Anda sudah lama bermain-main didunia blog, tentunya Anda ingat dengan Heather B. Armstrong yang kehilangan pekerjaannya sebagai web designer atau Ellen Simonetti yang dipecat dari sebuah maskapai penerbangan gara-gara blognya.



Beberapa tips yang bisa mencegah agar hal-hal buruk tidak timbul karena blog Anda adalah sebagai berikut :

• Jangan mempermalukan pihak lain maupun diri sendiri dengan menuliskan hal-hal yang bisa membuat Anda menyesal nantinya. Walaupun intensi Anda adalah mencurahkan isi hati, etika tetap wajib dijaga. Internet adalah dunia yang sangat luas dan semakin gampang diakses. Bukan tidak mungkin boss atau rekan kerja Anda bisa menemukan blog dan membaca hal memalukan tersebut. Jika Anda ingin kebebasan penuh dalam menulis, Anda bisa mencoba fitur protected entry yang ada di Wordpress atau fitur yang memungkinkan Anda untuk memilah pembaca seperti yang ada di Multiply dan Blogspot atau bahkan memberlakukan total proteksi terhadap blog.
• Jangan 'ngeblog' di kantor. Dengan mudah browsing history Anda bisa diketahui pihak manajemen. Hal ini bisa menuntun mereka ke online journal Anda yg bukan tidak mungkin pernah berisi keluh kesah Anda tentang kantor. Seperti pengalaman Anda saat sang boss mencuri ide Anda atau saat Anda kesal karena ditegur atas kesalahan yang tidak Anda lakukan.
• Jangan pamerkan identitas Anda seluruhnya. Gunakan nama lain atau inisial. Hati-hatilah dengan foto Anda, orang lain atau property kantor yang dipajang diblog. Selain berkaitan dengan copy right, Anda tidak akan tahu jika ada yang memanfaatkan foto-foto tersebut untuk kepentingan pribadi orang lain.
• Hindari untuk dengan gamblang mencantumkan identitas professional Anda seperti jabatan atau posisi, nama perusahaan dan alamat tempat Anda bekerja, bahkan jenis industri pekerjaan Anda. Playing safe is better jika Anda masih ingin memiliki pekerjaan Anda.
• Bijaksanalah dalam menulis hal-hal yang berkaitan dengan pekerjaan. Jangan membeberkan rahasia perusahaan, nama klien, konflik dalam perusahaan serta hal-hal lainnya yang tidak seharusnya diketahui umum, apalagi kompetitor.

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