Building relationships takes a certain discipline

Debra Desmond

Many company business models have shifted from product-based to customer relationship-based in order to reap the gains through good and poor economies. We’ve seen the shift among many professionals as well who understand the power of networking because you never know when you’ll have to tap into its equity. So how have the people who do relationship building well manage themselves? There is a certain discipline; attitude if you will when consistently applied that has an affect on the habits of the relationship builder and others he/she connects with in his travels.

Fortunately there’s evidence that a socio-cultural shift has evolved from the win-lose, every man for himself to every man for each other in this economy. The culture of Linked In that uses the connections of others to benefit your goals has helped advance the cause. Search engine Google has helped us be informed as to the backgrounds of who we are seeking to form a relationship with. Keith Ferrazzi., author of Never Eat Alone and expert relationship builder, reminds us to do our homework. He recommends putting together a biography on a person before we meet them. If we haven’t taken the time to Google the person before meeting, shame on us, the author remarks.

To illustrate, I had a meeting with an individual who I had not previously met who interjected in his conversation that he was speaking to someone who was also an alum of a particular university. I interjected with the comment that he didn’t go to that school; something I learned from my earlier Google search of him. He responded, “No, but you did.” Oh touché, he obviously did his own search on me to know that.

Another tenet of quality relationship building is to escape the predominant expectation of reciprocity. This means that doing good for someone else can stand alone on its own merits. There is an implication I recognize that you’re putting your good intentions out into the universe without a one-for-one payback. It may mean that the return can come from a different place than where it was left.

The last tenet I’ll mention is the deliberate intent to being gracious and compassionate in your interactions with others. People always remember the generosity of spirit when it is sincerely offered. Let kindness take you to success.

What part of your relationship philosophy is consistent with these practices? In what way do they differ? What might you consider doing differently because of what you’ve read today?

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